Online Dating Secrets Revealed – The First Email Experiment
Learning how to write effective first emails is critical to success with online dating. In this revealing experiment, you will view what the inbox of a beautiful woman looks like, and see the critical mistakes that almost all men make when writing emails online.
by Joshua Pompey
I recently put together a great experiment with a beautiful woman I am friends with.
The experiment was as follows:
1. Put up her profile picture.
2. Fill out almost no personal information.
3. See how many first emails she receives.
Her profile only had the following information:
My hypothesis prior to the experiment:
Knowing that she is beautiful I knew we would receive a ton of first emails no matter what. I assumed at least one out of ten emails she receive would be fairly effective.
Absolutely disturbing. Out of the first thirty emails, not even one of them stood a chance. In fact, the online dating emails she received were so bad I couldn’t possibly cover them in one article so today we will focus on just one aspect of what was learned…
Today’s focus: Not having anything interesting to say in a first email.
Why is it that men think they can attract women online without having anything interesting to say? Just look at all the first email competition that is being faced online…
Within 30 seconds: 4 Emails (Literally 30 seconds)
Within 10 minutes: 12 Emails
Within 1 hour: 39 emails
Within 2 days: 189 emails (seriously)
The following screenshot shows how many first emails she received within 12 minutes of signing up:
With this type of competition it is unrealistic to think we can compete by asking the same boring questions every other guy asks.
Let’s take a look at a few of the examples from this experiment:
Let’s think logically about what was written in the online dating email examples above:
Why would a beautiful woman respond to a guy who has absolutely nothing interesting to say if she is receiving hundreds of online dating emails a week?
Wouldn’t you be completely bored if you received these types of first messages over and over every week?
Can anyone honestly think these first email example won’t come across as creepy, considering she is a complete internet stranger?
Why should it be her job to decide if she wants to email us? It is our job to make them interested in us through a great first email.
Telling a girl how great she is doesn’t make a girl run into our arms. It does the complete opposite. This is attraction 101!
When it comes down to it, the online dating email examples above, along with all the other first emails she received have two major problems in common:
1. They show a complete failure to understand how attraction works.
2. They have nothing interesting to say at all.
We must be as interesting as possible in the first emails we send. But we must also do so in ways that ignite attraction. This is the key.
If I hit on a beautiful woman that has only one picture, and writes very little in her profile, I still want to use the little amount of information she has provided me to be interesting and try to spark an attraction.
In this experiment, the only useful piece of information present is that she is a nurse. So I would take advantage of that tiny amount of knowledge I am given.
A first email coming from me might look more like this:
“Ya know, just because you’re somewhat attractive doesn’t mean you don’t have to write anything in your profile. I hope you’re more attentive to the patients that you’re nursing or my poor elders may be in trouble… :P
Anyways, maybe you could help me out. I’m feeling a little sick from all the crazy messages I’ve been getting lately. Got a prescription for me? Or maybe a bad story of your own to make me feel better…”
In this example we have an opener that is:
- Stands out / Is Unique.
- Pokes fun at her.
- Doesn’t bend over backwards complimenting her.
- Implies women are chasing us like crazy on this site.
- Doesn’t sound desperate at all.
- Uses many of the ten attraction building principles from The REAL Online Game.
- Takes advantage of the 1-2 emailing system.
- Takes advantage of the only useful information we have (she is a nurse), proving we actually read her profile and are not spamming.
Using something more similar to the first email example above will increase our chances of receiving a response dramatically, as long as our profiles are just as well-written, and our pictures are telling the right story.Their are literally hundreds of ways to write amazing first emails.
The bottom line is this:
There are many factors involved with successful emailing, but being interesting is critical. Never fall into the trap of being just another boring guy.
It is important to understand that the above discussion is just one aspect of the hundreds of things you must learn to be successful with online dating. This is why I created, The REAL Online Game.
The REAL Online Game is filled with lifetimes worth of information that will teach you everything you need to know to never struggle meeting women online again.
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